...Ever felt like you needed to get away?
:: points to self::

not sure how long it'd be for
but I crave it... need it. It's not gonna happen, but it'd be beautiful.


|edit: sometime (a day, 3 days? whatever mang. watches bother me. I do, however, like when they're in military time sorta like mine [change=fun]. I don't appreciate the notion of time. It's a dull measurement. ) |

...but I digress. I've been studying myself so much more so in the past few weeks or so. How does one act like themselves anyway? I never really fully understood that seemingly hurtful piece of criticism. but then again, I'm a rubix cube myself when I feel the need, so it's switched about.

there's a scroll unfolding a mile long- a 'list' if you will of things about me noone knows. noone. except myself. & God. & yet I want someone to be able to understand [or "get"] me. as in, may not agree, but simultaneously fully understanding where I am.

want a headstart? #1: I am in no shape or form, "good" at describing myself. or most things for that matter.

#2: I bask in the thinking/discovery process all too much/well. Some sort of mechanism? <-- see.

#3. I know myself inside & out... almost to a fault... yet seeing as how I [additionally] know too little, it hurts- sort of like when you get a splinter- w/o it being bothered, it's fine- but it needs to be "bothered"/dealt with.

#4. I love (loove) learning & reading.
#5. I never do anything w/o my 'harte" atleast somewhat in it.

</headstart> <-- if you're a dork like me, you'll understand that.

.

goodness, I love working w/ these kids (6 weeks-10 yrs). They need care- different types, and so much of it w/o being babied. if it weren't for them, I would've quit long ago. it's a relate-able topic. & I can relate to some of the things they've/'re dealt/dealing w/.

.

it's ultra interesting how scents, sounds... just everything can be linked to a memory. some? -stronger than others. and it's allll comin back (specifics/details especially so). right now it's a record- hybrid.

food to eat, roof over my head... trust me. I have the life.
(how I remember spouting hella similar words a few years ago. & people allways found some little insignificant thing to complain about. arg.

hey you- yeaa you reading this: if you're an appreciative person by nature?- many kudos to ya 'we' need more like ya :-D)